“Affirmations for Couples” is a resource written by recovering couples. This tool can serve as a guide for growth, as an antidote for couple shame and as a means to strengthen commitment. Many individuals who grew up in unhealthy families have great difficulty hearing affirmations with grace and peace. Please try to accept these love messages with a “thank you” rather than a “yes, but…”. These affirmations are designed to enhance and support your relationship.
- We are a beautiful, unique couple and we deserve recovery.
- We treat each other with honor and respect.
- We are honest, direct, appropriate, and respectful with each other.
- We are totally deserving of unconditional love.
- We are a work of art in progress.
- We enrich our relationship by reaching out to other couples committed to recovery.
- We are changing and growing in the present moment.
- We seek to build closeness and intimacy by asking for what we need and want.
- Today we acknowledge that our needs may be different. We find healthy ways to get our needs met through many available resources.
- We communicate our differences with love and respect.
- We respect each other’s boundaries.
- We respect each other’s path of recovery.
- We can each grow at our own pace.
- We can lovingly confront our partner and share our feelings, even if pain is part of that growth.
- We know, understand, and accept ourselves as a couple. We gently invite each other to grow.
- We support our partner’s individuality with our love and understanding.
- We support each other’s growth and ability to make healthy choices.
- We affirm qualities in our partner that we admire. We choose to share how these qualities enrich our relationship.
- Today we affirm the little child within our partner and nurture that special quality.
- Our relationship grows as we get to know our partner.
- We are fully developing ourselves as persons within a healthy relationship.
- We accept and respect our differences and look at how they enhance our relationship.
- Today we affirm that our partnership is made of two equal, unique parts and that our relationship has a valuable life of its own.
- We help each other learn how to love.
- “I Love You” can be said by a touch or a look.
- We express our love in words and actions on a daily basis.
- Today we develop balance in all areas of our relationship.
- We are a gift to share with each other and with other couples.
- Today we accept that we do not have all the answers.
- We can be empowered and vulnerable at the same time.
- We choose to say “no” when we are not safe.
- We trust our sponsor couple and open ourselves to their experience, strength, and hope.
- We ask our Higher Power for the courage and wisdom to face each new challenge in our coupleship.
- We are lovable for who we are rather than what we do.
- We do not abandon each other.
- We choose to be best friends.
- We STEPPED in time.
- Today we have healthy conflict, and there is no winner or loser.
- We affirm our growth: first we learn to listen; then we listen to learn.
- We listen to each other with our hearts, and we open our minds.
- We share sorrows and joys.
- We can agree to disagree. It is OK to disagree.
- Today we choose to let go of fear, to take healthy risks and to become more intimate.
- We feel relief as we share our fears with each other.
- We are safe with each other and it is OK to express insights about our mistakes.
- We are learning to be better parents.
- We take responsibility for our mistakes and learn from our experiences.
- It’s OK to love my partner and be angry at the same time.
- Secrets build walls of confusion and threaten our relationship. Today we seek to create an atmosphere of openness and honesty.
- We let go of expectations and perceived outcomes. We place our future in the hands of our Higher Power.
- Today we choose to live in the present, despite our individual or couple history.
- We know that much of our anger is based on our family-of-origin baggage.
- We recognize our triggers without reacting to them. We see the underlying family-of-origin issues.
- We choose to forgive and make peace with ourselves.
- We forgive each other.
- We peacefully respond to change, rather than react and create crises.
- When we come to a crossroads in our life, we reach out to each other, ask for guidance from fellow recovering couples, and seek our Higher Power to find a true path.
- Our RCA three-legged stool does not topple: Each of us and our coupleship are recovering.
- We allow ourselves creative space to work and play in many ways. We find new directions and opportunities.
- It is fun to play with each other, and we enjoy playing together.
- We build intimacy through sharing the ordinary moments in life.
- We learn from each other’s ability to show love.
- Today we can find a new way to express our love for our partner.
- We enjoy each other’s touch. Our couple sexuality is not a barometer of relationship success.
- We are sexually intimate with each other through words, touches, looks, sounds and thoughts.
- We accept mutual responsibility for our sexual relationship, both in giving and receiving sexual pleasure and in recognizing each other’s boundaries.
- We share a spiritual connection through our mutual sexual relationship.
- As our coupleship heals, hope reappears in our relationship.
- We relax and enjoy our life right now.
- Today we have recovery tools to build commitment, caring, and communication.
- We build dreams together and live them one day at a time.
- We validate our coupleship through our recovery. We are proud of who we are.
- Laughter and healthy humor bring lightness and healing to our relationship.
- I am recovering with my partner. Our coupleship is in recovery.
- We are steadily growing in intimacy with the help of our Higher Power.
- We find regular ways to restore our connection with each other and with our Higher Power.
- We walk together. We play together. We pray together. We are together.